January 8th, 2017

sam & dean metamorphosis

If I Didn't Know You

From Sam's point of view, Dean rejected Sam because of his monstrousness, but not Benny. If I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you. Dean never really took back that assessment.

And I wonder if Sam's determination to believe that Dean is too close to Benny to think clearly is not based on jealousy of Dean's love for Benny, but rather on fear that Dean isn't too close to Benny. That his assessment of Benny is, in fact, objective. And if this is a simple, objective judgment on Dean’s part, if Sam has the faith in Dean’s judgment that he does, then the implications of that are simply too painful. Because from Sam's point of view, Dean told Sam in Metamorphosis exactly what his judgment of Sam would be if Dean didn't love him.

(In Metamorphosis, Dean said "know", not "love", which is more ambiguous...but how did Sam hear it?)

And whatever Dean’s intentions with killing Amy were, it must have been pretty hard for Sam to not see it as proof that “if I didn’t know you, I would want to hunt you” was still in effect.

This entry was originally posted at http://itsnotmymind.dreamwidth.org/64611.html. Please comment either here or there, whichever works best for you.