Pairing(s)/Character(s): Buffy/Riley, Riley/vampires
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters
Summary: I have been rewatching Buffy season five, which inspired a bit of Riley fic
"I don't go with vampires," he says, and then there she is, night after night, with a look in her eyes that is nothing like the look in the eyes of the woman his heart belongs to. He wonders what she would do if she was in his place, Buffy, if a male vampire was placing the charms on her. He knows what she would say, I never would. But she let Dracula bite her. There's something she's hiding from him, some kind of darkness. He would destroy himself to keep up with her, but that can never be. She's a Slayer. He's ordinary.
Sandy gets annoyed, but doesn't give up. She comes back and flirts with him, with an interest, with an intensity, that he never sees in Buffy. He should appreciate what he has, the most incredible woman in his arms and in his bed. If she doesn't love him, if there's a passion she had for Angel that she doesn't share with him, does that matter so much? Shouldn't it be enough that she is his?
He looks at Sandy, and wonders what it would feel like to let her bite him. He should be appalled at the thought--it is, after all, everything he is opposed to. Everything he was trained to be against. But maybe a little of Buffy is wearing off on him. If he just let her bite him, once, would he be different? Would he understand the darker side of Buffy? The part that drew her to Angel, to Dracula?
He goes with her one night, and then he kills her. Buffy is fretting somewhere, her mother in the hospital. He knows, now, that he is a terrible boyfriend. He is letting her down when she needs him. But if he can come back from this, come back different, perhaps he can be the kind of boyfriend she truly desires. Someone who understands the dark she fears in herself.
That's what he tells himself. And he feels different, after letting Sandy bite him. He feels a kind of thrill he never allowed himself to feel before. He wants more--not for Buffy, but for himself. The next time a vampire bites him, he won't kill her. If she's dead, after all, she won't be able to bite him again. The thrill of the bite becomes not an experiment, but a hobby.
He's not Riley, the military man anymore, who would have been appalled at the though of letting a vampire bite him. Nor is he Riley, the mission's boyfriend, unable to keep up with the woman he loves, but loving her nonetheless. He's someone else.
He just isn't sure if it's someone he wants to be.