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[sticky post] My Fanfiction

Every piece of fanfiction that I've written under this identity.

FanfictionCollapse )
I think I approach fandom differently from many fans. I often hear people say that fandom is escapism for them. that idea is alien to me. Fandom never could be an escape for me, even if I wanted it to be. Fandom has been part of who I am - been who I am - since long before I started hanging out in the internet. Since long before I can remember. I take fandom as seriously as I do the rest of my life. Getting a livejournal and joining fandom wasn't easy for me. It was very stressful. To this day, fandom can cause me as much unhappiness as the real world, and often more. I'm not in fandom to escape from the world. I'm in fandom to process the world. Fantasy worlds have always been a way for me to deal with the real world metaphorically, indirectly. To understand it from a different angle.

I think I do fandom different from a lot of people in that regard. Fandom is not supposed to be fun for me. Fandom is supposed to be fulfilling.

Crossover Fanfiction Bunny

So, it's Supernatural season seven. I think I would position this fic somewhere between Season 7, Time for a Wedding and How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters. As you may recall, Sam Winchester is helping his brother Dean and friend Bobby in their quest to defeat the Leviathans. Also, he’s hallucinating the Devil. As one does.

Something happens, and Sam is teleported through time and space and universe. London, during the 1860s. There, he encounters a young woman we'll call Anne. I like that fanon.

Anne is convinced she's being stalked by demons. No one believes her, but Anne is sure of it. She says that the demons are targeting her because of her psychic powers.

Anne is a religious woman. She has been told that her psychic powers - her prophetic visions - make her a Devil child. She has even been told, by one of the "demons" hunting her, that she should simply give into her fate, and be evil. But she wants to be good. She wants to be pure.

Sam, of course, completely believes her about the demons. The two of them team up to protect her family. Ultimately, they fail. Anne's family is killed. Sam has his throat torn out by Angel (I don't accept the Angelus retcon). And Anne doesn't go by Anne anymore.

I did not realize until dreaming this bunny all the parallels between Sam and Drusilla. Very different endings, though.

I also considered having Sam and Drusilla encounter each other in the present day, with Drusilla as a vampire. I wanted them to have sex, since that’s what characters do in fanfiction, but Sam said no. So I asked soulless Sam. He sleeps with everything that moves, right? He said “Yeah…no.” I guess not so much with the sleeping with everything that moves. It's weird because I could see soulless sleeping with Faith, even during her evil days, but not Dru. Perhaps because with Faith, Sam would know where he stood: sex with no strings. Just the kind of thing soulless likes. But Drusilla's goals and motives are often incomprehensible to outsides.

Don't You Mean *Male* Vampires?

In my internet wanderings, I stumbled upon this article: http://io9.gizmodo.com/5299054/its-buffys-fault-that-vampires-are-weak-nowCollapse ). I disagree with the the basic premises of that article: that the humanizing of vampires in modern fiction was primarily that result of BtVS and AtS, and that this humanization, whatever its cause, is bad (though, okay, sparkling vamps were a bit too far).

But my biggest issue with the article is neither of the main arguments. It is, rather, that the title is misleading. This article is not about vampires becoming "weak" - it's about male vampires becoming "weak". It makes sense to focus such an article on Spike and Angel - they are, after all, the two most significant vampires in the 'verse. But they are not the only significant vampires in the verse.

Drusilla, for example, who never gets redemption, who never stops being scary, is mentioned only in the context of discussion of Spike. The article says of this romance: “So Spike always had his pouty, tragic side, and the Spike/Drusilla romance culminates in an episode where Spike tells Buffy and Angel that he's love's bitch, but he at least he's man enough to admit it. And that's great stuff. Yay.” Yes, you heard that right. The Spike/Drusilla romance culminates in an episode where Drusilla does not appear.

Drusilla is at least mentioned in the article. Another character, far more relevant to the topic at hand, doesn't even seem to exist where the article is concerned.

The article says: “Angel is an engaging enough character that it hardly matters that his romantic chemistry with Buffy was always negligible. When he got his own show, he managed to go five seasons without having a really compelling love story — first he moped over Buffy some more, then he had a fairly low-key flirtation with Cordelia, which got nipped in the bud when she was whisked off to Heaven. And finally, he had a sweet, fairly easy-going romance with Nina the werewolf, which was nice precisely because it wasn't made into a huge saga. Angel is good at being a tormented hero, but as soon as you cast him as the lover, he starts to seem just petulant and all wet.”

Five seasons without a really compelling love story.

I mean, I agree about the lack of chemistry with Buffy, but...

Who was the first vampire we meet on the show, a terrifying monster who makes the first kill of seven and five seasons of vampires? Who was the first vampire to use the word "love" to describe their feelings for another being, a season before Spike set foot in Sunnydale?

For that matter, who was the first soulless vampire to express any kind of love or sympathetic emotions?

Here are some of the words the article uses to describe humanized vamps: “Weak”. “Wimpy”. “Kittenish”. “Sympathetic”. “Heart throb”. “Emo”. “Moping”. “Tormented”. Most of them come down to: not sufficiently masculine.

So Darla, who starts unambiguously evil, reveals the she feels affection for another being and then is killed by him, who unexpectedly comes back in human form, acting first as her old, evil self, and then succumbing to her soul. Darla, who is turned back into a remorseless vampire just as she decided she didn't want it. Darla, who ultimately sacrifices herself to save her son, who she declares the only thing she and Angel did right together (what was that about no compelling love story?). How does she fit in here?

How can you have a conversation about the weakening of vampires in the Buffyvese without acknowledging Darla?


I think the way Buffy the Vampire Slayer ended was just right for the show.

Are you ready to be strong?Collapse )


Killers and Villains

If I were to be asked about my favorite TV shows, I would number four - not as my favorites, but as the ones that meant the most to me at the time I first saw them. In the order that I fell in love with them these shows are: Torchwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Supernatural, and Jessica Jones.

For each these shows, I naturally have favorite characters: Dr. Owen Harper, Buffy Anne Summers, Sam Winchester, and Jessica Jones herself (though Trish is a damn close second). Liking the type of shows that I like, all these characters have killed people (and/or people-like beings). Naturally, I feel the need to name my favorite kill for each character.

Spoilers for all four showsCollapse )

You know what else is fun? Naming my favorite villain of each show! So:

Again with the spoilersCollapse )

*Yes, I'm a Buffy/Spike shipper. What's your point?

Maneuvering Swine

Paul McCartney, in a moment of anger and grief that undoubtedly should have been kept private, once described John Lennon as a “maneuvering swine”.

Instinct and honestyCollapse )

John Lennon and Women

It's taken for granted among most of us voyeurs who analyze the psychology of the Beatles that John Lennon liked to be dominated by strong women. Mimi, Yoko...Many people, both those who knew John personally and chose who only know him by reputation, have said this.
She"s So HeavyCollapse )

Where I Would End Supernatural

Season five of Supernatural is basically my least favorite seasons, of the ones I have seen (I've seen S1-S10). I am of the opinion that the revelation of Heaven was one of the most damaging contributions to the show overall. The mystery of death was a huge part of the atmosphere and themes of the earlier seasons, especially S1 and S2. Dark Side of the Moon (despite being a quite good episode otherwise) answers that question in a highly unsatisfying way. Not only does it get rid of the mystery, but the answer itself never seems to be treated like anything more than a gimmick.
EndingsCollapse )


Lyrical Post

Because I feel like it, an incomplete list of my favorite lines from various songs.

When I think of all the times / I tried so hard to leave her / She will turn to me and start to cry / And she promises the earth to me and I believe her / After all this time I don't know why - Girl, The Beatles

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had - Mad World, Tears for Fears

But it won't be soon enough / Soon enough for me - Tug of War, Paul McCartney

There's only so much I can do for you / After all of the things you've put me through. - Must Get Out, Maroon 5

My whole life revolves around your absence - Superstar, Tegan and Sara

And I'm the one with no soul - Violet, Hole

So how do you do it / With just words and just music / Capture the feeling the my earth is somebody's ceiling - Chasing the Sun, Sara Bareilles

I'm empty and aching and I don't know why - America, Simon and Garfunkel

But then if you're so smart, then tell me / Why are you still so afraid? - Vienna, Billy Joel

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans - Beautiful Boy, John Lennon